Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Inner Storm of Loneliness

    There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there is none faithful, and there is none truly 'all loving' but Jesus Christ himself. Even those who we are the closest with. And it's not always because a friend has forsaken us, or something terrible has happened to bring us to this realization, it's just life it's self, and this longing for fellowship and close friendship that you know that your friends, family, loved ones, just can't fill. The truth is when we spend time away from prayer, study and our secret place with God, we start to feel all alone, and we start to panic inside. Something is missing, something is wrong, and yet why is it so hard to go back to the corner and get on one's knees and confide in God? Why is it when we really need God, we go to other people instead?
The truth is life can be like a storm; waves of confusion and dark clouds of distress, nothing is certain, no one can be counted on to be there when you 'really' need them. Actually, it seems like when we really need a friend, that is when they are not around. When suddenly, we are at our worst and need to sit down and receive a reply from a pal, there is none. I think the reality is we just need Christ, and we are so darn blind to the fact that when we are the neediest, God holds the greatest fulfillment. And honestly, it is when we are at our neediest that we seem the most repulsive. People begin to think that you are trying to cling to them, or expect what they cannot or shouldn't have to give. And as we all know there are different sorts and types of friendships in this life.
 Overall, I don't blame God for leaving us in these sort of situations though, when we feel alone...because when we are at our neediest point, God knows that what we really 'need' is Him. He is the greatest 'filler'. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want...Lord, teach us to find our 'fulfillment' in You, to find our peace in You. I ask that You would have mercy on me, and bless all those that I know. I pray that loneliness would be surrendered for peace. Calm the storm of hurt, confusion, fear, loss, and doubt in my mind tonight. You know what I've been through before this moment, you know my anxieties, you know how this heart full of care, beats for all I cross paths with in this life. I will never let go...You see the emptiness in loneliness...Lord, here I come. Down on my knees, heart bore out. Here my cries, have compassion on my inner storm. Calm it with your hands, Let me lie down beside still waters...where you restore my soul, and my peace. You are the friend of my heart, you are the love of my life, here I am, arms held high, touch this mind. You know me, in and out, there is never a misunderstanding between us. Therefore you see my need just as it is, and you usher me into your presence. Let's talk God...

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